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God I'm so glad that we never had children. If we had I might have stayed for their sake, but then too they may not have even been mine, who knows.I made my excuses and made a point to take my pill in front of Janice before going down the other hall to the spare room. I undressed and lay on my stomach and cried into the pillow. It reminded me of a couple of old songs, 'Tears on my Pillow' by Little Anthony and the Imperials and 'Cry me a River' by Julie London. I loved some of the 50s and 60s. "Her long, firm thigh was pressed to my side and I was in a quandary. I wanted to kiss her. Actually, I wanted to do much more than that, but I was afraid. Irene was a nice girl and a friend to both my wife and me. If I made a pass at her, I could destroy that friendship."Now Joe? Don't get ideas," she said, turning to look at me and smiling nervously when I draped one arm over her shoulders."You're beautiful, Irene," I murmured as I moved my face the few inches required so that my lips could. They’ve been through so much. Losing Chris was so hard on them.”“I think they deserve to know how you’re feeling. They’re at least your friends now. Talk to them. They’ll help you, I’m sure.”She sniffled a bunch and agreed. I didn’t know a lot about women, but I did know that they usually worked things out when they talked to each other. If not, well, I didn’t even want to think about it.At least I had dodged the bullet on coming up with a solution to all of this that I might later be. I stayed away from Sheila's family, no one night stands from them. I just could not do that to them.Seven years later I was still on the rebound, still in a fog, still in pain, and then I met Ruth.I went to all of the security shows, not to talk, but to listen. I rarely said anything to anyone but I did pass out a few cards. I had a booth that was just a few brochures and a pretty face who only knew enough to get a name and phone number and address. I made sure to have the hottest women I could.
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