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Where man goes, we follow. Who can doubt that we are family?’ ‘Man is indisputably a corvid,’ cawed the crow, strutting about. ‘He ambulates upon two legs, as we do. He flits about hither and thither, never staying in one place for long, as we do. He is far too hairless to be a mammal. It is far more probable that the hair he does possess is simply an outlier. Just as we hold parliaments and funerals, so, too, does he. ‘From my own observations, it is evident that he is a fellow bird who has. I imagine how wonderful it would be to give him a thoroughly good over-the-knee spanking and immediately start planning in my mind how I might best bring this about. In fact the answer is right in front of me. It will be an easy matter to set him up for a misdemeanour for which I can punish him. I will set him the virtually impossible task of holding the warm water inside his bowels for two minutes. This is extremely difficult for anyone except those with the most extraordinary level of bowel. I swung my rifle up onto the rock and lined the man up in my sights. I could have dropped his horse easily, but it was about the prettiest pinto pony I had ever seen, so I held my fire and waited. My opportunity came when he rose up from his horse's neck to look back, no doubt checking for pursuers. That was his official last act on God's green Earth. My shot took him cleanly in the center of his upper chest. I figured he was on his way to hell before he hit the ground.I dropped back down. Oh Mama, Elizabeth thought, how I wish I could be more like you. ‘Why didn’t you have supper with us?’ Mrs. Winshaw said, concern evident in her face as she sat down beside Elizabeth. ‘I am just tired, Mama,’ Elizabeth fibbed. Well, it was partly true. But the full truth was something her mother just wouldn’t understand. ‘Did you see that young man again today?’ Mrs. Winshaw asked, seemingly reading her daughter’s mind. Looking up, Elizabeth saw that her mother looked hopeful. Irritated, she.
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